Miracle

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up." - James 5:15

Scopes from my first surgery, bone fragment the doctors removed.

I sat down at the kitchen table with Reagan and her Dad and explained again as optimistically as I could what the doctors had told me. I was visiting the McDonald house that evening just wanting to pray over Reagan and Ryan, who were packing for their ten-day mission trip to India, although they seemed just a little bit distracted. I guess I was looking for a distraction too, from all the x-rays and MRIs and bad news.

But, the McDonalds are my family, and I couldn't keep up my tough guy face. That, and my big honky knee brace I was wearing and old-guy limp I failed to cover up might have given me away. As Reagan stuffed clothes and fruit snacks into her suitcase, I told her about my arthritis, my impending surgery, not to mention my uncertainty about my dreams of becoming an Olympic gold medalist. She must have seen how much pain I was in because she went and got her Dad, asking him to pray with us over my knee.

I'm kidding about the Olympics dream thing (I'm fine with just a silver medal), but I'm not too proud to admit how scared I was. All the professionals and orthopedic doctors were so negative, even doubting if the exploratory surgery would find a problem they could fix.

"Bone is grinding on bone," they said. "There's no cartilage left." The image that diagnosis brings to mind is just as unpleasant as the feeling I got whenever I walked, that stabbing pain, so I believed them.

The MRI that showed that my knee was still broken.

We sat there around the table, Mr. McDonald with a hand on my shoulder, Reagan with a hand on my knee and Ryan with a hand on my back, in prayer. I will never forget the faith in my best friend's voice as she asked God not just to let my second surgery go well, not just that it wouldn't hurt anymore, but that my knee would be completely healed.




Completely healed. That broken knee. That worldly wound, that sentence to a life without the things I love like biking or rock climbing, that injury that made it unlikely I would ever get to go back to Nicaragua or lead an international ministry like I wanted so badly. Only through His Holy, Beautiful, Perfect name could something so worn down and broken ever be fixed. And it was in His name we prayed.

~

A week after my surgery, my mom drove me out to Dr. Wilkinson's office for the post-op check up. My head had finally cleared up from all the pain killers which I hated just about as much as the pain.

There was something different than my surgery two years ago, in which a different surgeon removed the big piece of cartilage that had broken off in a car accident I was in my sophomore year of high school.

"There's no cartilage left."

My leg, or what was left of it, after the second surgery.

For some reason, I had healed so much faster than last time. Only six days after they opened me up, I was able to walk almost normally. The pain seemed like it was just from swelling. Despite all the praying I had done, I didn't let myself get optimistic. Doctors. Bad news. The two are synonymous.

Dr. Wilkinson came into my exam room smiling. At first I thought it was because I didn't get blood all over his clean tile floor when I took my bandages off. Or maybe he wanted to talk me into getting another cortisone shot even though the last one didn't do a thing. Maybe something funny was taped to his clipboard.

Then he spoke. He told me they didn't know what they would find, but they were still surprised. He told me my cartilage repaired itself and they just needed to smooth out the sharp parts that were stabbing at the joint. He told me, "Your knee is completely healed."

Completely healed.


Two years ago on my 18th birthday, a doctor told me I would be in pain for the rest of my life. A month before writing this post, a doctor told me I had arthritis, and "the knee of a sixty-five year old." This doctor just told me, "You have the knee of a high school athlete."

I can't describe the feeling I experienced at that moment. My mind flashed to all the prayers my friends and family and I had poured out, how Reagan had boldly asked God to show everyone that nothing is impossible through Him and that I would surprise all the doctors with a perfectly healthy knee.

God was there with us at the kitchen table when we prayed. God was there with me in the operating room for my surgery. God was there with me in the exam room for my post-op.

Even though I'm a sinner, even though I'm weak, even though I'm nothing without Him, even though I don't deserve it, God gave me a miracle. God did what doctors could not. God completely healed my knee.

~

Without the need for physical therapy, I've started running again just a week after my surgery and there's not a trace of joint pain. Instead of pain, I'm flowing with gratefulness, struck in awe of Mercy and Grace. Instead of a knee brace, I'm walking with the sweet embrace of Christ. I am so excited for the plan that God must have in store for me.

One thing I do know is that I will tell this story for the rest of my life, giving glory to my Father in Heaven, spreading the Word and the Gospel that can free you from any kind of pain.

Never underestimate a prayer offered in faith.

-sam

sugry

i just got chome from my second knee surgy ever asnd i thogt i woula take this poptortunity to tal about how muchh i am tahnkfl for jesus

befote i wnt int o the sugrey i waas so noerouvs tha mseded up last time and hurtt ma os bad i prated and prayed and my heat was toaly focsued on god and HIs beattiful will and how i askved GDo to take apway all my featr andfill me witg faith insdated

mh head fesl liek its frrot lpops and i am confseud but uou knowa hwat i am oaky becasue jesus doesa amazing pergfect beaitifl mircales every day adn he wanted to sow those doctsors taht no mater how btad they emssed up that havin faith ien him can maie amazing imposiblee things hapen

ian a ew days when im al beter i kno that im going to not just ba able to move mtounains bu t now i cna climb them to and son i can be abl eo run

jesu1 is so aqewome im so hapy he s ibmy best griend he can ghep you ghtough aything big por small

-samm

Exprésate

"You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one." - John 8:15

-sam

New

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17

A new year is a beautiful thing because it's one of the few blessings that can be measured; we tend to see it as a fresh start. There is an opportunity we are given every single day to change, to transform, to improve. It all starts with God. God can always be new to us, we are never new to him. Remember that God knows and loves you no matter what you change or don't change, but the potential we have to grow through a relationship with Him is an immeasurable blessing.

I am new because I accepted Christ. I am new because I left the old behind. I am new because God made me new.

You are new, too.

- sam

Trial

Try being me.

Try going through this without any friends. Try being there for people who don’t care about you at all. Try telling someone you’re hurting when they just get annoyed. Try trusting someone when they won’t even talk to you. Try making new friends. Try understanding why you can’t.

Try keeping it all inside because no one wants to hear you complain. Try pleasing everyone else because you think it’ll distract you from your own problems. Try giving more love and faith to someone than you give to God because your heart tells you it’ll work out. Try having your heart broken. Try coming back from that.

Try depending on anyone else, and being let down over and over. Try imagining how you can do it all on your own. Try remembering that you’re already on your own.

Try getting out of bed when every day is a disappointment. Try convincing yourself it’ll be okay, even though you know it won’t. Try searching for an easy way out even though your whole life has taught you that there isn’t one. Try finding a reason to keep going.

Try feeling like a failure, every time you try to do something. Try building up courage. Try reaching out, one last time. Try praying for days, weeks, months or even YEARS, and never getting a response. Try listening to God. Try hearing nothing. Try believing anyway.

Try quitting. Try starting over. Try anything. Try again.

Just don’t stop trying.

-sam

Home

I have heard the voice of God once in my life. I was seventeen years old, I think only a few months after I had given my life to Jesus. I was struggling particularly hard at the time. Not that I'm doing any better now.

I was lying in bed, praying harder than I can ever remember. I just wanted an answer. I just wanted to know I wasn't alone. I kept asking God, "What do you want me to do?"

"Come Home." A voice in my heart.

Immediately, everything that was hurting me just... stopped. I felt warm, safe, and happy. I fell asleep smiling, saying, "Thank you, God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

I haven't felt that way in a long, long time.

I can't say I totally understand what God meant. "Come Home." Does He want me to stop being so attached to the world? Is he trying to show me the right way to get to Him? Or was it just a reminder in a moment of weakness, that in the end, there is a place with no more hurting?

I wish I could focus on these questions, but since then, I've been looking for a much bigger answer. Why won't God answer my prayers anymore?

I just don't understand. At first I thought, "Maybe I'm praying for the wrong things." I had been asking Jesus for such specific things, "Jesus, please let me have this," or "Put that in my life." I searched my heart and considered these wants might be too selfish. I want to want what God wants.

So I changed my prayers. "Jesus, if I can't have this, if I'm not supposed to have that in my life, please help me understand." Still, no answer. No feeling. Nothing. I must have been asking Jesus for too much. I know now that I can't possibly come close to understanding God's plan for me, what He gives me, what He takes away. I want to understand God, but I know I never will.

Again, I changed my prayers. "Jesus, if I can't have this in my life, if I can't understand why, then please just let me be okay. Let me be happy." Every day. Weeks. Months. More than a year, and my prayer is unanswered. I'm not okay. I'm not happy. I'm not any closer to coming Home. I just want to Come Home, God.

Tonight, I will pray the same prayer. Tomorrow, the same prayer. I will not stop praying until God answers my heart again. I have lost so many things important to me, and there are so many people I've failed, so much I've had to quit. I don't know why, but for some reason, God made me too strong to quit Him.

I have faith in the Promise. Life will keep getting harder, and my hurt might not go away. It might keep getting worse until I don't have anything left. As far as I'm concerned, God can take away everything in my life, because it's for my life that He gave everything.

I don't know if I'll ever hear that voice again. But I haven't forgotten. I haven't given up. I may not know how to get there, but I know where I'm going to end up. One way or another, I will Come Home.

-sam

Courage

“Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.” – Ezra 10:4

Is there something in your life that you really love but you’re not, strictly speaking, “good at it”? I’m not going to lie, that goes for... just about everything I enjoy (see; rock climbing, playing guitar, sculpting thirteenth-century marble statues.)

It seems like all my favorite hobbies should be restricted to people who don’t totally suck at them. Unfortunately for those people, and unfortunately for my own safety, I’m not giving up rock climbing anytime soon.

I've seen better days.

Maybe it’s something a little more serious. Maybe you feel like you can’t get past a failure or a shortcoming. Maybe you’ve been through times when you’ve actually had yourself convinced you can’t do anything right. Maybe you're afraid.

No more fear. I want to encourage you, because without encouragement there is no courage.

Encouragement

The word ‘encourage’ literally means to bestow courage upon. I don’t know about you, but I’m not big on the idea of anything being ‘bestowed upon’ me, so I’ll rephrase.

The word ‘encourage’ means to give someone the motivation they need to accomplish what they thought they weren’t capable of doing. Simplify it even more? Okay.

The word ‘encourage’ means to give someone help.

This might seem a little weird seeing as generally we associate courage with being able to do something difficult not only without fear, but also without anyone's assistance. Well, this is just one of those cases in which the general association is wrong.

It seems like I’ve strayed off topic somewhat, but I haven’t! Not completely. Earlier I admitted that some of my favorite hobbies require a certain level of skill that I haven’t quite reached yet (putting it gently.) So why do I keep doing them? Well, partly because of my own courage, but mostly it’s due to the encouragement that I receive.

You Are Courageous!

I’d like to devote the rest of this post to giving you support, even if you don’t want it, because in at least some small way, I’m here for you!

Be brave! Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something! Absolutely anything is possible, as long as you have the heart to make it happen!

“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” – Psalm 31:24

When you feel weak, know that you are strong! You are so much stronger than you think! Whatever mountains you’re facing, I promise you that you can move them!

“I can do all things through him who gives me strength!” – Philippians 4:13

Finally, and most importantly, you are not alone! No matter how tough it gets, remember that we are all in this together! Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

“Do all that you have in mind… Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” – 1 Samuel 14:7

P.S. I never go rock climbing alone. I’m incredibly blessed to have amazing friends that I know I can count on. They give me more courage than they will ever know. I think this is one of the most important parts of life and our walk with Christ. Find the right people, and even when you feel like you’re going to fall, you can trust that they’ll be there to belay you. Or laugh when you land on your butt.

-sam